Time and time again people preach to me about the virtues wearing a helmet while riding a motorcycle. I know the risks of not wearing a helmet. They SCARE me, yes, and I ride cautiously BECAUSE of my fear.

For those not undestanding that statement, let me re-phrase: The idea of having my valuable brains splattered all over the pavement makes me ride more carefully and watch out for all those coffee-drinking, cellphone-using, cracked-out, jamming-to-the-beat and eating a croissant bungholes in their automobiles — ‘cuz they ain’t watchin’ for me!

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What does smoking have to do with this? More people die and get sick in a year from smoking than die on motorcycles in a year from not wearing a helmet — and yet SMOKERS have the NERVE to preach to ME about not wearing a helmet. “You’re gonna’ DIE doing that! It’s WRONG and DANGEROUS!” they say.

Hmmm… If I wreck on my bike and splatter my grey matter on the highway, only I get hurt and/or die. When a smoker lights up, the Surgeon General says EVERYONE exposed to the smoke from their cigarette, pipe, cigar, etc.

So please TELL me WHY smokers feel as though they have the RIGHT and DUTY to preach about safety when they habitually destroy THEIR lives and those of EVERYONE else around them?

When I choose to ride w/o a helmet I take MY life into my hands — and not for a cheap chemical high. Smokers have an addiction that causes them to take the rest of the world out with them.

So, folks, the next time you see me or anyone else riding w/o a helmet, instead of of muttering curses and curse words about how dumb we are, thank us for possibly removing ourselves, and ONLY our (stupid) selves from the gene pool.

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With us gone you will have that much more free time to stop and really enjoy the cigarette smoke from the guy next to you — that’s killing YOU, your FAMILY, your PETS… Get the point yet?

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Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face.

“Why do you do that, mommy?” he asked.

“To make myself beautiful,” said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.

“What’s the matter?” asked Little Johnny. “Giving up?”

A TRUE STORY FROM…..”THE HOUSTON NEWSPAPER”

IN HOUSTON,TEXAS MARCH ON 5th, 2009

Last Thursday Night Around Midnight, A Woman From Houston , Texas Was Arrested, Jailed, And Charged With Manslaughter for Shooting A Man 6 Times In The Back As He Was Running Away With Her Purse.

The Following Monday Morning, The Woman Was Called In FrontOf The Arraignment Judge, Sworn In, And Asked To Explain Her Actions.

The Woman Replied, “I Was Standing At The Corner Bus Stop For About 15 Minutes, Waiting For The Bus To Take Me Home After Work. I Am A Waitress At A Local Cafe…

I Was There Alone, So I Had My Right Hand On My Pistol, That Was In My Purse, That Was Hung Over My Left Shoulder.

All Of A Sudden I Was Being Spun Around Hard To My Left. As I Caught My Balance, I Saw A Man Running Away From Me With My Purse.

I Looked Down At My Right Hand And I Saw That My Fingers Were Wrapped Tightly Around My Pistol. The Next Thing I Remember Is Saying Out Loud, ” No Way Punk! You’re Not Stealing My Pay Check And Tips.”

I Raised My Right Hand, Pointed My Pistol At The Man Running Away From Me With My Purse, And Squeezed The Trigger Of My Pistol 6 Times!

When Asked By The Arraignment Judge, “Why Did You Shoot The Man 6 Times?

The Woman Replied Under Oath, “Because, When I Pulled The Trigger Of My Pistol The 7th Time, It Only Went Click.”

The Woman Was Acquitted Of All Charges, And She Was Back At Work At The Cafe, The Next Day!

Now that’s Gun Control….

Now you would have to possess the IQ of a snail (no offense to any snails reading this….) to think that drinking beer will save water. Uh, hello? Last we checked, you could not MAKE beer w/o water. Come to think of it, beer’s main ingredient IS water!

Having said all that, we must possess the IQ of a snail ‘cuz we think drinking beer makes more sense than drinking water.

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You read the Subject of this page correctly. The Simply Frogg Crew wants you to take a good, long look at this bra and guess what size breasts it holds….

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Think you know the answer? Huh? Do ya? Well you’re in for a surprise! Why? Those things in the bra cups don’t BELONG in a bra!

The poor, poor kid whose parents tortured him like this will undoubtedly need tons and tons of therapy ‘cuz of this little joke they played on him!

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For several years www.AmericasBestMySpace Comments.com has consistently posted funny, sexy, gross and sometimes downright sarcastic pics for your enjoyment. The time has come around once more for that site to reveal its most popular pics… this time for the month of May 2009!

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Have you ever found strange, unrecognizable and definitely melted plastic or rubber objects in a dryer before or after putting your clothes in? If so, let’s just say that some people (see above) like to use available dryers for intimate moments while waiting for their loads of laundry to finish. And, since one can never take too many precautions again STD’s, those shriveled up pieces of rubber/plastic may, in fact, come from discarded condoms.

* barf *

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Summer means a lot more snakes out and about where Blakk Frogg lives. The above cartoon illustrates the proper way to use a fake snakebite as a means of getting ‘personal services’ from a really stupid park ranger. Take notes, campers! Take notes!

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Yes, yes, yes and YES! Nothing beats a nice booty shakin’ from side to side, right to left, up and down and all around. Therefore, shake what ya’ mama gave ya’!

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Seems as though people will never leave the rednecks alone or stop accusing them of acting like a bunch of dumb… rednecks. Damn. It happened again.

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The fifth most popular comment picture this month tells a definite truth: Somewhere sitting next to every hot girl is her current boyfriend who’s sick and tired of her crap and constantly dreaming of ways to dump her fine ass once he finds someone new. Sorry, ladies… but some guys value more than nice breasts, a pretty face, a slim waist, eductaion, intelligence, personality, an insatiable sexual appetite, a desire to explore all areas of kama sutra, and the ability to pay your own bills and take care of yourself.

Hey, wait just a ssecond… Blakk Frogg wants to rethink that last line. Lol.

A mechanic was removing a cylinder-head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop.

The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike when the mechanic shouted across the garage, “Hey Doc… want to take a look at this?”

The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the motorcycle.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and said, “So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I make $39,675 a year, a pretty small salary and you get the really big bucks ($1,695,759) when you and I are doing basically the same work?”

The cardiologist paused, smiled and leaned over, then whispered to the mechanic… “Try doing it with the engine running.”

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A business man got on an elevator. When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a bright, “T-G-I-F.”

He smiled at her and replied, “S-H-I-T.”

She looked puzzled, and repeated, “T-G-I-F,” more slowly.

He again answered, “S-H-I-T.”

The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so, she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly, “T-G-I-F.”

The man smiled back to her and once again, “S-H-I-T.”

The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain, “‘T-G-I-F’ means ‘Thank Goodness It’s Friday.’ Get it duuhhh?”

The man answered, “‘S-H-I-T’ means “Sorry, Honey, It’s Thursday.”

I’d like to extend a giant ‘thank you’ to the bonehead in the black Maxima on I26 this morning near Cayce, SC around 7:25 AM. From the exterior of your vehicle it seemed as though you really do take pride in the appearance and cleanliness of your car. Therefore it should not have surprised me one bit that you just HAD to toss an empty plastic cup out your window as you sped merrily down the highway. The presence of that no longer useful cup certainly would have ruined the pristine interior of your oh-so-special vehicle.

In hindsight, though… Silly me, thinking you might actually CARE right now that your careless action caused the startled driver of a minivan to swerve into my lane when the cup took a sharply angled bounce off the highway and struck their windshield unexpectedly.

Thankfully as soon I saw your punk ass litter like that I reduced my speed as soon as I saw your pudgy, fat fingers drop the plastic cup out the window so the minivan came over into my lane, yes, but I had already gotten back a safe distance from the scene of the crime.

Therefore no collision took place. No thanks to you, though, my idiotic litterbug friend.

Oh, how I wish I had gotten that Maxima’s license plate number. In the midst of all my cursing I neglected to speed up and tailgate the bastard so that I could jot down the plate number hidden under that dark, smoke-colored license plate cover. Someday I hope to have one of those so that I, too, can drop whatever I want out of my windows, nearly cause accidents, get away with it ‘cuz no one can read my license plate or see in my ultra cool tinted windows.

And finally, to you, dark colored Maxima driver, I say, “Go to Hell, ya’ rotten bastard! You coulda’ killed someone this morning. Prick!”

I didn’t stutter, did I?

As the weather gets warmer where Blakk Frogg lives, his thoughts naturally turn to more beer. No, wait, he meant Adult MySpace Comments. He will, however, drink beer while posting the most popular Adult MySpace Comments for the month of May 2009 from www.Adult-MySpace-Comments.com.

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No way can Blakk Frogg deny THAT little fact. You ask ANY man if pussy makes the rules and if he says no, question that man’s heterosexuality on the spot!

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Oh boy! Oh boy! Two hot girls in what looks like a domination pose. Please excuse Blakk Frogg for a few moments while he studies… the camera angle used for this shot. * drool *

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Years ago Blakk Frogg heard credible rumors that pretty much all searche engines kept a log of queries that they processed. Apparently Google kept track of searches AND the people who did the searching! Blakk Frogg turned on his computer one day and the above image flashed on his screen for three days straight. Oh sure, he COULD have gotten it to stop, but he just couldn’t take his eyes off the O’s long enough to close the window!

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Ha ha. That cartoon reminds Blakk Frogg of sporting events where food vendors walked around yelling out the items they had for sale. Now replace the words popcorn, peanuts, hot dogs, etc. with “Hot Snatch” and you get the following: “Snatch! Snatch! Get your hot snatch right here! Hot snatch! Hot snatch! I got your hot snatch right here!”

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Some girls like it ruff, some like it doggystyle, some like their hair pulled../ and this chick likes it all three ways! Sorry, folks. Blakk Frogg apologizes for the extreme cheesiness of that statement. You may punish him by sending him $20 in the mail and telling him he has to go to Happy Hour immediately.