Little Kids Talk in the Hospital

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, “What are you in here for?”
The second kid says, “I’m in here to get my tonsils out and I’m a little nervous.”
The first kid says, “You’ve got nothing to worry [...]

Little Boys Recite Shakespeare

Two little boys in first grade were chosen to be the leads in their first school play. It was to be a Shakespearean play. The first little boy was to say, “My fair maiden… I have come to snatch a kiss and fill your soul with hope.” The second little boy was to reply by [...]

Christmas Party in Alaska

Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it’s total peace and quiet. After six months [...]

Sex Gives Away His Profession

A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl’s place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands.
He then takes off his trousers and washes his hands again. The girl has been watching him and [...]

Woman Yells Horse

A woman is driving at night on a narrow country road. At the same time a man is driving quite fast in the opposite direction on that same road.
When they narrowly pass each other at high speed, the woman rolls down her window and loudly shouts – HORSE! Immediately the man shouts back – B**CH! [...]

Zen Sarcasm by George Carlin

(sounds a lot like George Carlin… if you ask Blakk Frogg)
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me either.
Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins
with a broken fan belt and [...]

Engineer, Physicist and Mathematician

An engineer, a phsicist and a mathematician are staying in a hotel.
The engineer wakes up and smells smoke. He goes out into the hallway and sees a fire, so he fills a trash can from his room with water and douses the fire. He goes back to bed.

Simply Frogg and Americas Best
free jokes, comments and [...]

Firearms, Liberty and Life

1. An armed man is a citizen. An unarmed man is a subject.
2. A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone.
3. Colt: The original point and click interface.
4. Gun control is not about guns; it’s about control.
5. If guns are outlawed, can we use swords?

Simply Frogg and Americas Best
free jokes, [...]

Egg Farmer Sex Joke

John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called “pullets”, and ten roosters, whose job it was to fertilize the eggs (for you city folks).
The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn’t perform, went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot [...]

Sleeping Pill

Dennis had a problem sleeping at night and consequently he had a habit of getting up late in the morning. As a result, he was always late for work. His boss was getting very angry with him, and threatened to fire him if he didn’t do something about the problem. So Dennis went to his [...]